A disclaimer for most if not all the advices I will give

To all the people who ask for my opinion/advice as of Sunday, March 18, 2007:

1.  There is a reason why I ask if you're sure that you want my advice--e.g. you might not like what I am going to say

2.  If you don't like what I DID say, then why in the hell did you say you were sure? (see number one)

3.  I am the kind of person who, when asked, is frank to the point that I will tell it to your face even if you don't like it--e.g. you're being really selfish if you think you can go around hurting people just because you can't take your own share of pain.

4.  I am the kind of person who tries to say the most things in the least words possible-- so don't ask me expecting to get an answer like "ummm... it's like this... uh... you and him/her... uh.. [insert dragging and pointless essay about you being in denial]" instead I might answer "I think you're in denial."  Which leads me to number 5...

5.  When I say a one-liner and you're beginning to ask why I would say that then you're on the right track; but in a specific case where you might deny that you're in denial, guess what? You're in freaking denial!

6.  I try to say one-liners as much as possible basically because I want you to examine for yourself what the hell your problem is.  It won't help much if I just go around telling everybody else what the diddly poo is wrong with them.  Why?  First of all, that's called judging, and obviously I'm not a judge.  Second, the only way that you're not going to make the same mistake again is by discovering what it is that you're missing.

7.  I'm no all-seeing, all-knowing gypsy you can hire for 50 cents per minute, so don't expect me to have all the answers. (see number 6)  What little bit of information you give me is the only thing I can go on.

8.  If you didn't read through this all the way before asking for my advice, then why the heck are you pissed off because you couldn't take my advice?  That's why it's called a disclaimer.