Commiserations and Requiescats

It's always hard to say goodbye to someone.  Recently I just received a text message that my very good friend's boyfriend just died.  I know, I know, at first glance such messages are totally unbelievable; but I made it a point not to bother her anymore than she already is by insisting on asking for more details.

The next thing I knew I was singing my heart out in my room clearly ignoring the fact that I have neighbors and that they may already be very well asleep.  It's hard to say goodbye.  I know that sounded corny, but sometimes those that sound the corniest may actually be the truest things in the world.

My cousin had experienced the same thing and I must say that must have been an awful experience.  To have a loved one for one minute and the next second, poof!  They become part of the glory of days past.

Life will always have the occasional storm, but even a storm has spiritual implications:
1. Everything can change overnight.
2. Only those who are deeply rooted will survive.

With that said, it's better to live everyday like it's your last.  Let us fix our broken relationships, conquer that obstacle, appreciate the blessings that we have been given, for we may never get another chance.

I can only offer my condolences to my friend, whom I can't be with because I'm leaving early in the morning for Manila.  I hope she will be able to read this.

On the Nature of Decisions

There are times when a decision must be made.  Some small, some relatively significant.

The question is should people stand by their decision?

Take for example marriage, rather divorce.  A popular nonsensical saying that originated in the US goes "half of all marriages end in divorce".  Of course, that isn't true; but why should couples go through divorce if they already have thought of the consequences of marriage?  Although there are extreme examples such as battery, insanity or even worse things that could happen, didn't they swear upon all the yadda yadda "'til death do us part"?

Or how about priests, those who have secret sons and daughters?  Didn't they have those three vows- chastity, poverty, and obedience?  They took these vows after some sort of discernment period(which can be a rather long time), and yet there was a previous news article that some priests moved to have the chastity part of their vows erased.

The question is should we stand by their decision?

Of course, there are times when we make mistakes. Does that also mean that we should stand by the decision to make that mistake?

Ultimately, there can be no absolute answer for such a question. It varies from case to case, depending upon the discretion of the people involved.  There will be times when we feel that to stand by our decisions is right, whether it was a mistake or not- because we can learn from our mistakes, and mistakes are a part of life.

I'm closing my eyes as I type this.  I just want to express what deep melancholy I have in my heart.  I know for as long as I can remember, I have put myself into the position where it's easy to ridicule me.

For those who understand, I'm so sick and tired of putting up masks.  I'm so sick and tired of studying people only to use their weaknesses against them.  I'm so sick and tired of overcalculating.

I'm sorry.

Today as I slowly reach the end of another phase, I am truly afraid of what I am now, and even more so for what I will become.  My lingering feeling of bitterness is consuming me as I know I will have to swallow a bitter pill.  This was my well needed shot in the arm.  I'm so screwed up that I even dug myself a hole I can't even dream to get out of.

Part of me is dying as I helplessly go on with this f@#*ing hole in my heart.

I'm running out of ideas as to how I will change myself because I'm looking at my situation and it is looking very, very bleak.  I am going out of control, and my coping resources are easily running out.

So, what exactly is my point?  I've got none.  I'm trying to express what I feel through my blog because it is one of the few things I know what and how to do.  Wisdom and logic are but estrange voices in the distance and I can no longer put into words as to what I feel.  By now, I would realize that expressing this through my blog is really not helping.  The logical thing to do will be to go to counseling, but I hate the "first impression" plasticity that I see with such people.

I've got some issues I need to resolve. *sigh*

Signing off for a very long time.

My Stages of Development as a Blogger

These are the stages of development in my blogging life.  :D

First stage:  I don't know what I'm doing as of now but I'm going to write about something anyway - articles.

It's kind of self-explanatory, I'm bored and I don't know what to do so I resort to freetyping, poetry, or some other pathetic whatnot.

Second stage:  I've got problems with how some people are because they're being outright stupid- articles

Somewhere along my blogging life, i came across a few people who have extreme personalities and sometimes come off as cross, rude, sometimes even, well, let's just say less than intelligent because of running their mouths without proper deliberation beforehand, or the acts they commit that BLATANTLY befouls this blogger's mood.

Third stage:  I've experienced some enlightenment with a recent experience and can't help but share it with the world- articles

This is the pinnacle of my blogging cycle as I put MUCH effort in setting the scene for the reader to help emulate my experience and put the reader in the blogger's shoes. It's this kind of article that usually strikes close to both the author and the readers' hearts.

Fourth stage: HIATUS

Def'n:
unexpected gap: a break in something where there should be continuity

This is the part when the creative block has run its course and has rendered me unable to write because of a little voice in the mind called the "inner critic".  This inner critic will obviously try to impede the blogger from making a decent article based on the fact that I can't think of anything as of yet.  This may range from as little as one hour to as long as the blogger can't do or choose not to do anything about either the inner critic or the creative block.

Again, this is all according to my experience.  Feel free to comment.

The Pencil Needs Sharpening

Okay, so my writing has become a little bit too sloppy.  Three weeks of being unable to practice in almost any way possible can do so much damage.  I'm sorry for any feelings that have been hurt by any of my posts; but I will not apologize for the content I have put up.

Why?  Because it's my blog and I write if I want to.  Of course I will accept any corrections.  Damn!

Basically, I've run out of topics to write about.  I'm pondering whether I should write about older experiences.  Anyway, I'm off to another hiatus (again) and make some well needed reflecting.

The Culture

I have been most alarmed by the increasing number of people who are absoulutely arrogant embodiments of moronism.  That's right MORONISM.  It's an actual word.  To make things easier for you, I've taken the liberty of "copy+pasting" the definition:

MORONISM n.
offensive term: a former term for somebody with significant learning
difficulties and impaired social skills, now considered offensive (dated
offensive)

Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

I'm sorry if you're offended.  The very nature of the term is offensive in nature really.  But I'm not talking/writing/typing about you... hopefully.(minute chances of that happening given my reader base.)

I am thoroughly alarmed because people have had the gall to commit unprovoked acts of destruction, well, not really destruction but more of humiliation and deprecation that victims have begun to think that they brought this upon themselves. Remember people that the ones who have the last say are the ones who ACTUALLY MAKE THE CHOICE.

Yes, the problem is choice.  To be a moron or not to be a moron-- THAT IS THE QUESTION!  Of course, I'm not going to impose upon you a "false dilemma", do feel free to disprove me by inserting another option.

Many have already started living the culture of death-- no, I'm not talking about goths or death metal, these are merely expressions of feelings.  The culture of death I'm talking about, is helping people die rather than helping them live; and this isn't limited to the one-time-big-time acts.  This includes the little things, like backbiting, insulting, embarassing other people to name a few.

It's time to live the culture of life. Pay it forward.  Who knows?  You might just save somebody's life.