Sunday, December 30, 2007

On Friends and Masks

If there’s one thing I learned about forming relationships,
it’s that some can be very fruitful, while some others I’d rather do without.



Every relationship I’ve formed has a ripple effect in my
life; for some reason, it affects the way I think, feel and cope throughout the
day.



The one thing that really bothers me is that I’ve been
wearing a mask, a lot of different masks to be precise; and I’m finding it hard
to tell people this is the way I really feel because for some impertinent
reason, they don’t believe the truth when it’s staring at them in the
face. So I find myself disappointed,
hurt and confused. The very reason why I’m
typing this is because I just walked out on them having a good time.



I have begun to doubt the things that I once so fervently
believed, and now I’m a broken shattered man. I can’t find my center, trying to balance on a log at a raging
river. I really thought that I had shown
people the real me, but it turns out I’ve compromised myself for the sake of
getting along with people. The people I
spend my time with, are not bad people at all; they’re actually quite
nice. The only thing that’s stopping me
from finding a new set of friends is the fear of not being able to find people
who can really understand me, and I feel that I am partly to blame for them not
understanding me.



People often can’t connect with me because of the way I
think. They usually say “nosebleed” – a
local term that means the person saying it doesn’t understand, like what I just
said was way above their level of thinking. Should it be my fault that I’m an active thinker, filled with ideas?



When I do try to level with them, I find myself thinking, “this
isn’t me at all”, and I usually just end up getting hurt because they get too
comfortable. Is this even rational or am
I just having pride issues?

Ten Reasons Why I Should Not Procrastinate

1.

Soy, you're just being emotional...

"Soy, imong lolo(or some family member)... <insert offensive comment here>"



"Soy, musta naman tong imong <insert queer/freaky or some totally bizarre way to call my love interest>? <insert offensive comment here about how I lack 'skills' when it comes to love>"



"Soy, musta naman ang imong <insert secret>(what the--!)"



So I'm like, there are some jokes I can take, and some jokes I totally find offensive; and I can only take so much.



How
many times do I have to repeat myself just to get through their thick
skulls that there are some skeletons in my closet that I can't just
show to everyone?  I mean, they already know that I take offense to
such remarks, do I have to show them my bleeding Fing heart; and this
happens like once a week?



You might be thinking, I must be
sensitive--duh!  Implausible as it may sound, I have a life filled with
mostly disappointments and hurt; so yeah, I'm pretty sensitive.



Maybe I should find new people to hang out with. Sheesh.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

So Many Miles Before I Sleep

I finally decided to let go of my choir.  So much time has been taken
away: time for my studies, time for my friends, time for my family,
time for myself.  It all happened on one fell swoop, as one thing led
to another, that it came to a time where I am a stranger in my own
house.



Not one person in the family knows the real me, the
deeper, darker, more beautiful side of me-- and I've kept it hidden
from them for long enough.  It's about time I give my family a chance.



For
so long, I've been trying to make a home out of just a few people,
different communities have become my home that it came to a time when
my mother actually asked "Dili na ka happy sa balay?"



Like a
guilt-stricken freak, I was immediately plunged in denial.  All the
things that I've hidden from them, although some not so well hidden,
started pouring into the back of my mind--



the times when I was constantly put aside by the very persons I treated as best friends,



the times when I was so down with love,



the times when I was lifted because of love,



the times when I treated what were once strangers as family,



the times when I was so happy knowing that I have a family outside of my house,



the times when I was drawn closer to God because of this other family,



the times when I bore my soul out to someone I didn't know,



the times when I really felt I was needed,



the times when I really felt loved.



Now,
I have the chance to make some time for my family, to make some time
for my studies, to make some time for myself, to make some time to find
myself-- I'm taking it, whether you like it or you like it.  So I'm
letting go of the things I have no control over and hold on, to what He
has revealed to me "Father knows best".



Much respect.

People Come and Go

   Is it just me, or do the people who make the greatest impact on my life not stay long?



I
was in my third year in high school.  I've known this certain teacher
of mine for quite a few years, and has been close to my mother and I
since we usually had lunch together way back since I was still in
fourth grade.  He has been quite influential for me since he was my
first adviser for my first year in high school, he even got me a
dictionary for a Christmas present, since he picked my name out as my
"cringle" i.e. the person whose supposed to give you a present on the
class Christmas party.



So there I was, totally overcome with
stage fright due to an experiment-- I would try to do what most
classmates of mine wouldn't: make an elocution piece look real.  For
some reason, he was standing in the corridor most probably "chilling",
but either way, he was there doing absolutely nothing.  So I went over
and tried to vent it all out on him, and all he said was something like
why should I be ashamed if I'm going to do my best, and for some reason
even my supposedly "high" IQ couldn't possibly formulate a logical
answer as to why I would let shame get the best of me and end up
letting me give a subpar effort to what should be something beautiful.



The
fear then seemed significantly insignificant, because I shouldn't have
a reason to not give my best when I absolutely can.  I had no idea that
he wasn't staying for long, as he joined his Maker in a car accident a
couple of months later.  I went on and gave my best and eventually I
would receive a silver medal for elocution on graduation.



Is it just me, or do the people who make the greatest impact on my life not stay long?



I
was in my second year in high school, and there was this music teacher
who graduated from the University of the Philippines Conservatory of
Music.  He taught us how to sing in my first year and I was so
attracted to music that I joined the glee club.  We would practice
every day after class and learn different kinds of songs, this was the
first time I really felt that I had the potential to sing not just well
but be able to express what I felt through music.  He would have the
patience of a beaver-- he never did complain, he just went on trying to
encourage us whenever we would sing off-key. or lose our breath, or any
other technical stuff singers shouldn't do.  He gave me hope that I
wouldn't be just the nerdy geek who had a high aptitude for math and
science.



So in the middle of the schoolyear, he suddenly
disappeared.  We were shocked to find out that he had cancer in his
brain.  All our hopes of joining the national comptetion for youth
choirs were shattered as we were left with no trainer-- the person who
would encourage us to do better despite failing miserably and know what
he was doing at the same time.  The glee club was temporarily
disbanded, I didn't even bother being serious with the new trainer in
the succeeding years.  My love for music came with a really high cost.



Is it just me, or do the people who make the greatest impact on my life not stay long?



It
was my final year of studying in Corpus Christi School, and I realized
that I would rather confide myself in women since they actually do
listen, and that my circle of friends (who were all guys) would say
something ridiculous like "i-otot lang na" when I needed someone to
talk to, who would make fun of me when I was being DEAD serious.



So
there I was in my classmate's private library, a newly found friend of
mine needed some help with the her computer since our classmate needed
to print something for our English class.  After the printing job was
done and my other classmate went home, we eventually talked about
school and the people around us.  It was there that I realized for the
first time in my entire life that I could seriously converse with
someone on the same wavelength.  We confided in each other and for the
first time I could actually say that I had a best friend, for that
miniscule amount of time.  One thing led to another, she now studies in
UP Diliman, while I'm  stuck in Xavier University - Ateneo de Cagayan
--- not that there's something wrong with Xavier University, it's just
hard to maintain a friendship with that kind of distance.



Is it just me, or do the people who make the greatest impact on my life not stay long? 



Then
again, some wiseguy wrote "Everything changes, but nothing is truly
lost." Well, a truly great man by the name of Homer Simpson once said:



"D'oh!"

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Yet Her Face is Tattoed on my Mind

I’ve been having
second thoughts lately—about myself, about my own self-manufactured
insecurities; and yet if there’s one thing I can’t get out of my mind is this
one person I’ve known for a few weeks now. I have never met anyone as angelic as her in my entire life. She has a smile that could light a beacon on
a dark stormy night, and a disposition that could thwart off any thought of
doubt and fear. I could talk with her
forever and I still would think that so little time has passed.



You’d think that
I’m usually attracted to those beautiful, sultry, and sexy types but no; what
really attracts me the most is how a person, no how a woman, carries herself.
She is what you would think at first to be this prim and proper lady who never
says a word—but that’s the thing that makes her attractive really, of course if
you really knew the story behind it.



She has severe
scoliosis, which would pretty much explain why she always has this posture that
makes her look so lady-like; but here’s the rub: she has to undergo an
operation wherein a rod is stuck in her back, all while keeping her heart
beating because she has a pneumatic heart; and it pains me so much that even if
she goes through the operation, her life would still be in danger.



So every time we
meet, she’s always this gentle yet always with an on-the-go attitude, with her
studies, with her responsibilities, which pretty much reminds me of myself. [I
can never stay idle for more than thirty minutes because my obsession on being
busy would kick in and I would have extreme mood swings.]



So here I am
writing about the most beautiful girl—both inside and out, that I have ever
seen in my entire life, which is why I’m making the most out of the time I am
able to share with this person.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Procrastination--Bad :D

I was going to name this as post # 60; realizing that I would sound pompous because of  announcing the number of posts I have written over my "active blogging life".  Hell it doesn't even matter whether which was more, quality or quantity.



OK, back to the main idea.  I'm tired of ranting, that is until I find something that really strikes me in the heart, after which a great idea comes to mind.  I make a note in my head to put it in the blog.



Procrastination strikes.  I then say bye-bye to the great idea lost in the deepest recesses of my mind.



There used to be a time when I would actually do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to write something on a piece of paper so that I would remember what I would put in my blog the moment I got home.



Procrastination strikes.  I then say bye-bye to the great idea lost in the deepest recesses of my mind.



I honestly thought that it would be a great idea to write down the realizations as well as the lessons learned for the day, just so that I wouldn't be making the same mistakes again; that and I could keep track on what's going on in my life and the paths I have taken that led me to the present moment in time.



Procrastination strikes.  I then say bye-bye to the great realization lost in the deepest recesses of my mind.



At least I got this one covered-- procrastination=great idea lost in the deepest recesses of my mind

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Life-changing decisions should have Life-changing reasons for being

Is it just me, or are people taking vocations[think of it as a career, except only 24/7 like the religious i.e. missionaries, priests, nuns] as something casual?   Like there was this one classmate I knew who was entered the seminary, and was smoking a few packs a day and having a girlfriend while being under formation, or a catechist[noun, one who teaches religion] that constantly curses, invoking the name of devils unconsciously or subconsciously?



A popular saying goes "many are called but few are chosen", but are we really going to take this crap?



Let me walk you through this with the following questions:
Can you honestly say to yourself that you are unique?
Can you say you've got your own purpose in this world(despite not knowing what that purpose is)?
Can people identify you as someone else instead of just you(i.e. people say you're sound,look,act,dress like a celebrity like tom cruise, or Jessica alba, Amy lee)?
Can people still identify you if there was somebody who looked like you, talked like you, dressed like you, acted like you?



Well then if your answers to those questions were no, then go ahead and take that crap.



Your uniqueness presents a purpose for your life in the world that only you can cater.  That being said, yes, people may be called, yes people may be chosen, yes people are willing to commit, in the end most of our choices in our present life will point to a general direction unless we blatantly choose otherwise.



Thus, I would like to propose something new: "One can travel with many on different roads, but in the end only he can have that specific journey."



Call it fate, call it destiny, call it God's plan; but whatever it is that you believe in, you have your own purpose in life--don't make life-changing decisions because of reasons like "I don't know what else to do", or "because my boyfriend broke up with me", or "I just want to try it out"; but instead do it because of life-changing reasons.  Do it because of faith, do it because of hope, do it because of love.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Uneventful Unevent

I'm pretty much unable to do anything recently.  Eating, sleeping, maybe; but pretty much nothing, really.  Sometimes I feel like writing about realizations, that I should share it with the people on the internet.  A few minutes after, I quickly lose interest and forget the realization altogether.



The thing about creative blocks is that you overcome it with will.  People can wait entire lifetimes for inspiration, or they can get their asses off their chairs and actually do something about it.  I've been doing the latter.



Suffice to say, it has been uneventful lately, and I've nothing to type about.  Thank you for your time. *bow*

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

creative block

Talk about a creative block, I haven't been able to get myself to blog for a month now.  Forgive me then, in lieu of the current situation, to put some free writing crap on my blog.



I've been quite busy lately, juggling school with service and sleep(!).  You know it's bad when you have to juggle sleep. }{_ (=) ][_



>_<

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Tickle me please.. idea from Melissa

Your IQ score is:






 You scored 131 on Tickle's IQ test.  This means that based on your answers, your IQ score is between
document.write((iqscore-10)+' and '+iqscore+'. ');121 and 131.
Most people's IQs are between 70 and 130.







In fact, 95% of all people have IQs within that range.
68% of people score between 80 and 120. The following chart to your
right, shows these percentages and where your IQ score is on that scale.

There's more to intelligence than a single number, a single score or a
single label. Tickle uses four distinguishable Intelligence Scales in
the Ultimate IQ Test. By analyzing your individual scores on those four
scales, we are able to look beyond the raw IQ score into how you
process information and thereby determine your Intellectual Type.
 



How do you relate to other IQ test takers?







<!--
var iqarrow = Math.round(((iqscore - 40) * 1.94) + 6);
document.write ('');
//-->








Your Intellectual Type Is:







Visionary Philosopher document.write(descriptions.substring(0,br2));Your
mind's strengths allow you to think ahead of the game — to imagine or
anticipate what should come next in just about any situation.
Because you're equally skilled in the numerical and verbal universes of
the brain, you can draw from multiple sources of information to come up
with great ideas. The timelessness of your vision and the balance
between your various skills are what make you a Visionary Philosopher.

In addition to your strengths in math and linguistics, you have a knack
for matching and anticipating patterns. These skills and your uncanny
ability to detect the underlying blueprint of most of life's situations
add to your Visionary Philosopher mind.





document.write(descriptions.substring(br2));
Two philosophers who share the same combination of skills you possess
are Plato and Benedict Spinoza. Spinoza had insight into how things
worked in the world. He could envision a future based on the patterns
he saw in life, and used mathematical logic as a structure within which
to present his philosophical arguments. With that base he was able to
use logic to formulate his theories. Borrowing from his linguistic
strengths he wrote eloquent texts and, therefore, was able to bring his
philosophical ideas and structure to the rest of the world. His story
exemplifies the talents that are present in the Visionary Philosopher
intellectual type.

Whatever you decide to do in life, you've got a powerful mix of skills
and insight that can be applied in a wide variety of ways. You can
expand your mind to understand a situation. Your strong balance of math
and verbal skills will help you explain things to others. For example,
if you were on an archaeological dig and discovered an object, you
could probably use your deductive powers to figure out not only what
the object was but also how it was used. Given your ability to put
things together, you are more than capable of inventing a life plan
that is in synch with your perspective on how things were, how they
are, and how they might be one day.
 



Great Jobs For You
Because of the way you process information, these are just some of the many careers in which you could excel:
  • Archaeologist


  • Detective


  • Psychologist


  • Sculptor


  • Architect


  • City planner


  • Chief executive





Some of Your Greatest Talents

You've got tons of strengths.  It wouldn't surprise us if you:
  • Think of the "big picture"


  • Can anticipate and predict patterns


  • Are good at context clues


  • Can see similarities in seemingly disparate things


Your 4 Intelligence Scales



Now let's look at the factors that contribute to you being a Visionary Philosopher with a 131 IQ score.




Based on the results of your test, Tickle divided your scores into four
distinguishable dimensions — mathematical intelligence, visual-spatial
intelligence, linguistic intelligence and logic intelligence.




Here's how each of your intelligence scores break down:




Mathematical Intelligence

<!--
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Your Mathematical Percentile

'+mathperc+'th percentile

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Your Mathematical Percentile

100th percentile


You
scored in the 100th percentile on the mathematical intelligence
scale.This means that you scored higher than 90% - 100% of people who
took the test and that 0% - 10% scored higher than you did. The scale
above illustrates this visually.



Your mathematical intelligence score represents your combined
ability to reason and calculate. You scored relatively high, which
means you're probably the one your friends look to when splitting the
lunch bill or calculating your waitresses' tip. You may or may not be
known as a math whiz, but number crunching might come a little easier
to you than it does others.




This is the kind of question that helped to determine your mathematical intelligence score:



A boy is 4 years old and his sister is three times as old as he
is. When the boy is 12 years old, how old will his sister be? 16, 20,
24, 28, 32.


answer: 20.
The sister is (3 )three times older than her (4)
four-year-old brother. Three times 4 is 12, in other words, when he is
four, she is 12. Twelve years old is 8 years older than 4 years old,
which makes her 8 years older than him. This never changes. Therefore,
when he is 12, she is still 8 years older, or 12+8=20.





Flexing Your Math Muscles
Like anything, keeping or
improving your math talents requires practice. Here are some everyday
mental exercises that could be particularly helpful to you:
  • Balancing your checkbook


  • Figuring out your monthly budget


  • Predicting what the change will be the next time you buy something


  • Calculating your waitperson's tip in your head





Visual-Spatial Intelligence

<!--
document.write('

Your Visual-Spatial Percentile

'+visperc+'th percentile
');
document.write('

You scored in the '+visperc+'th percentile on the visual-spatial intelligence scale.');
document.write('
This means that you scored higher than '+(visperc-10)+'% - '+visperc+'% of people who took the test and that '+(100-visperc)+'% - '+(110-visperc)+'% scored higher than you did. The scale above illustrates this visually.');
//-->



Your Visual-Spatial Percentile

100th percentile

You scored in the 100th percentile on the visual-spatial intelligence  scale.
This
means that you scored higher than 90% - 100% of people who took the
test and that 0% - 10% scored higher than you did. The scale above
illustrates this visually.



The visual-spatial component of intelligence measures your
ability to extract a visual pattern and from that envision what should
come next in a sequence. Your score was


relatively high, which could mean that you're the one navigating the
map when you're on an outing with friends. You have, in some capacity,
an ability to think in pictures. Maybe this strength comes out in
subtle ways, like how you play chess or form metaphors.




Here's the type of question that contributed to your visual-spatial intelligence score:


           





1is to2as3is to
 
Answer: b


The answer lies in recognizing not only the visual sequence of a
square and then a line, but in the recognizing the solidity of the line
in the first example and the broken quality of the line in the second
example.






Vision Quest

Like anything, keeping or improving visual-spatial talents requires
some practice. Here are some everyday mental exercises that will be
particularly helpful to you:
  • Playing chess, or video games like Tetris


  • Studying maps and become the navigator on your next trip


  • Sculpting or photography





Linguistic Intelligence

<!--
document.write('

Your Linguistic Percentile

'+lingperc+'th percentile


');
document.write('You scored in the '+lingperc+'th percentile on the linguistic intelligence scale.');
document.write('
This means that you scored higher than '+(lingperc-10)+'% - '+lingperc+'% of people who took the test and that '+(100-lingperc)+'% - '+(110-lingperc)+'% scored higher than you did. The scale above illustrates this visually.');
//-->



Your Linguistic Percentile

100th percentile

You scored in the 100th percentile on the linguistic intelligence  scale.
This
means that you scored higher than 90% - 100% of people who took the
test and that 0% - 10% scored higher than you did. The scale above
illustrates this visually.



Linguistic abilities include reading, writing and
communicating with words. Tickle's test measures knowledge of
vocabulary, ease in completing word analogies and the ability to think
critically about a statement based on its semantic structure. Your
score was relatively high, which could mean you know your way around a
bookstore and maybe like to bandy about the occasional 25-cent word to
impress friends.




Here's the type of question that contributed to your linguistic intelligence scale score:




Inept is the opposite of:


Answer:  Skillful.


The answer is derived by prior knowledge that "inept" means "unskillful" (Oxford Concise Dictionary).





Word Power

Like anything, keeping or improving linguistic talents requires some
practice. Here are some everyday mental exercises that will be
particularly helpful to you:
  • Doing crossword puzzles


  • Start reading just for fun


  • Befriending your dictionary


  • The next time something breaks, try reading the instruction book first






Logical Intelligence

<!--
document.write('

Your Logical Percentile

'+logperc+'th percentile


');
document.write('You scored in the '+logperc+'th percentile on the logical intelligence scale.');
document.write('
This means that you scored higher than '+(logperc-10)+'% - '+logperc+'% of people who took the test and that '+(100-logperc)+'% - '+(110-logperc)+'% scored higher than you did. The scale above illustrates this visually.');
//-->



Your Logical Percentile

100th percentile

You scored in the 100th percentile on the logical intelligence  scale.
This
means that you scored higher than 90% - 100% of people who took the
test and that 0% - 10% scored higher than you did. The scale above
illustrates this visually.



Tickle's logical intelligence questions assess your ability to
think things through. The questions determine the extent to which you
use reasoning and logic to determine the best solution to a problem.
Your logic score was relatively high, which could mean that when the
car breaks down, your friends look to you to help figure out not only
what's wrong, but how to fix it and how you're going to get to the next
gas station.




Here's the kind of question that contributed to your logical intelligence score:




If some Wicks are Slicks and some Slicks are Snicks, then some Wicks are definitely Snicks.


Answer: False
The statement is false because while some Wicks might be Slicks, there is no conclusive proof that any of them might be Snicks.





Logic Lessons

Like anything, keeping or improving logical talents requires some
practice. Here are some everyday mental exercises that will be
particularly helpful to you:
  • Trying some brain teasers


  • Throwing away the instructions and relying on instinct to fix something


  • Playing chess



--> big whoop, this only means that I am greatly underachieving... stupid I.Q. tests...

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Contemplations on Suicide are Disturbing

The spattering of tears on the ground
breaks the deafening silence at the cost of my heart.




For I am alone.




The tears of blood trickles on as pain buries itself deeper,
and deeper.




The mouths of people open,
yet the only sound I hear
is the spattering of my blood.




I find myself swimming in a strange sea,
only to find the same fate as Jonah.
Spat by a whale into a desolate beach,
an island of gloom, and of death.




The only light I see is the ring of fire in the sky,
Yet I am surrounded in utter darkness.




The spattering grows louder,
faster.




My heart cries blood,
as the sands begin to run out.




The Grim sits by closely, smiling,
as I reach for a blade.
Death is but a loyal lover,
and as seconds pass I fear I would truly be with her.




I can hear the angels singing,
to my doom, my own demise.
As I run it across my wrists,
I feel empty, drained, and dead.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

An Exercise in Stillness

I hear nothing
but a deafening silence.




I see people,
their mouths open
yet their words escape me.




Is it truly silence
or the turmoil
that my heart screams out?




I let go of fear,
only to fear.




I let go of guilt,
only to be guilty.




I sought silence,
only to hear.




I sought calmness,
yet I am disturbed.




Yet my heart is still,
for now I can hear,
the Voice
n the deepest recesses of my heart.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Torn

My friend and my princess,
I stand confused,
for she dumped him.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

A disclaimer for most if not all the advices I will give

To all the people who ask for my opinion/advice as of Sunday, March 18, 2007:



1.  There is a reason why I ask if you're sure that you want my advice--e.g. you might not like what I am going to say



2.  If you don't like what I DID say, then why in the hell did you say you were sure? (see number one)



3.  I am the kind of person who, when asked, is frank to the point that I will tell it to your face even if you don't like it--e.g. you're being really selfish if you think you can go around hurting people just because you can't take your own share of pain.



4.  I am the kind of person who tries to say the most things in the least words possible-- so don't ask me expecting to get an answer like "ummm... it's like this... uh... you and him/her... uh.. [insert dragging and pointless essay about you being in denial]" instead I might answer "I think you're in denial."  Which leads me to number 5...



5.  When I say a one-liner and you're beginning to ask why I would say that then you're on the right track; but in a specific case where you might deny that you're in denial, guess what? You're in freaking denial!



6.  I try to say one-liners as much as possible basically because I want you to examine for yourself what the hell your problem is.  It won't help much if I just go around telling everybody else what the diddly poo is wrong with them.  Why?  First of all, that's called judging, and obviously I'm not a judge.  Second, the only way that you're not going to make the same mistake again is by discovering what it is that you're missing.



7.  I'm no all-seeing, all-knowing gypsy you can hire for 50 cents per minute, so don't expect me to have all the answers. (see number 6)  What little bit of information you give me is the only thing I can go on.



8.  If you didn't read through this all the way before asking for my advice, then why the heck are you pissed off because you couldn't take my advice?  That's why it's called a disclaimer.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Long time no see?

It's been a while since I've been actively posting.  I made two posts but I frankly felt like making five exhaustive ones.



If you haven't noticed I've been inserting some poetry here and there.



Tell me what you think about them, should I keep making them?  Or is it just me swimming in a strange sea?



See you on the flip side! :D

Be Careful in Praying

Yes, you've read correctly.  Be careful in praying.



As always, if you don't believe in prayer, you'd save both of us the trouble by not reading through.  Don't say I didn't warn you.



I believe that prayer is our direct line of communication to our God.



That is to say, basically what you pray is what you say to God.  That could be just a simple prayer in the middle of the night in your bedroom, or in your respective church, or maybe even a song.



Now where's the danger in that?



Let's take a look at the most common prayer among Christians: the Lord's Prayer.  Remember the part that says "forgive us as we forgive those who have sinned against us"?  Basically if you didn't forgive them, how can you expect to be forgiven?  Of course, I'm not challenging the mercy of the Almighty, but all I'm trying to point out is we should mean what we pray.



Now there's this song that we sing at my religious organization, it goes like "and I will go to the ends of the earth, to the ends of the earth"-- now that is deep, and maybe slightly ambitious.  I am hardly able to get up after a very long day with deadlines and etcetera-- so much for the ends of the earth.



So the next time we pray-- let's make sure we can live up to what we pray.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

post # 50 :P

For My Princess



They say that the cherry blossom only blooms in spring,



I say it blooms eternal.



For whence I chance upon my fair maiden,



I see beauty which should only be seen once in a lifetime.






Yet her greatness simply cannot be seen at first glance,



It is a magnificent experience unlocked by great perception.






Though I find myself to be easily close to her,



I can easily discern that she is for someone else.



Perhaps it is only the monsters within that hold me back,



or simply my self-pity always leading to naught.






I know in time our ships will sail different directions,



until then I dedicate to you my thoughts and notions.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I Find It Hard To Blog

If you think blogging comes natural to me, let me correct that notion:



I find it hard to blog.



I find it really difficult to type any more after the first few lines.



I find it difficult opening my life to readers like you.



I find myself a little shy when typing in my deepest sorrows and insecurities.



Although I find myself a little more than joyous when I actually write something beautiful;



I find that it will be difficult to create something just as beautiful; hopefully even more beautiful.



I find that despite my very lack of technique;



I still find myself around people who give what little support they can and for that I am grateful.



Yet, I still find myself to be alone.



I find myself in a jungle of darkness and confusion.



When I do find myself around really true and truly real friends,



I find that there is much security and peace,



because I find God in them.



Though I find that I need only look at where I'm standing to find myself;



I find that my one true security is in my God.



It is then that I find myself inspired enough to make a blog.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

I'm sorry

To all the girls who let the good guys pass by:



I'm sorry
that i bought your goddamn roses
to tell you that i like you



I'm sorry
That I was raised with some fuckin respect
to treat you right



I'm sorry
That you dont feel comfortable around me
for some reason



I'm sorry
that I open my truck door,
whenever you get in



I'm sorry
That i called you to see how your day was
and actually was interested in it



I'm sorry
That I am actually fuckin nice
and NOT a fuckin asshole



I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things but i buy what i can



I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you



I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just fuck you
like some random guy.



I'm sorry
That I am the sweetest guy
you ever met



I'm sorry
That I bought you little gifts
to show i was thinkin of you



I'm sorry
That
I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped
you  off in the middle of nowhere, then found him and beat his ass with
a crowbar



I'm sorry
If I am angry right now
but it sure aint my fuckin fault



I'm sorry
If I don't want to talk to you anymore
cuz you decided to try your luck elsewhere



I'm sorry that you can't realize
that im the sweetest guy youll ever meet



I'm sorry
If you read this and regret what you did
cuz i dont give a damn anymore



I'm sorry
For NOT being fuckin sorry anymore



I'm sorry
you took a look at me and decided to try your luck elsewhere



I'm sorry
you wanna still be friends



I'm sorry
that i could care less about bein friends with you



I'm sorry
YOU feel you cant be yourself around me



I'm sorry
That I showed you i cared
cuz you sure didnt show it



I'm sorry
That I talked to you till 3am
instead of gettin some sleep



I'm Sorry
That I fuckin cared



I'm sorry
that I still talk to you
after the bullshit you fed me



Ladies
always bitch and bitch to their friends that there is never any good
guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them.
Well ladies next time you're bitching, maybe look up to see who you're
bitching to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your
every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a
chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you



If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, repost as "I'm sorry "



If
You're one of the few girls with enough balls to repost, and you would
never make your guy feel this way, repost as "To all the girls who look
past the nice guys"***

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Public Service Announcement- Olympic Torch-- Olympic Hoax

Taken from http://www.sophos.com/security/hoaxes/olympic.html:



Olympic torch
Type: Virus hoax



Description:



This hoax has been distributed across the internet. The report is untrue, and the email can be safely deleted.



The text of the hoax reads as follows:



Please read the attached warning issued today.



PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS:



You should be alert during the next days:
Do not open any message with an attached filed called "Invitation" regardless of who sent it .



It is a virus that opens an Olympic Torch which "burns" the whole hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list, that is why you should send this e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it.



If you receive a mail called "invitation", though sent by a friend, do not open it and shut down your computer immediately.



This is the worst virus announced by CNN, it has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever.



This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus.



This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept.



SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW, COPY THIS E-MAIL AND SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AND REMEMBER: IF YOU SEND IT TO THEM, YOU WILL BENEFIT ALL OF US.



Important

Many virus hoaxes:

    * falsely claim to describe an extremely dangerous virus
    * use pseudo-technical language to make impressive-sounding (but impossible) claims
    * falsely claim that the report was issued or confirmed by a well-known company
    * ask you to forward it to all your friends and colleagues



As usual, you are urged not to pass on warnings of this kind, as the continued re-forwarding of these hoaxes simply wastes time and email bandwidth.



It is possible that you may receive a hoax via email with a file attached. Obviously, such file attachments should be treated with caution as they may be virus infected. Sophos recommends deleting virus hoax emails, whether they contain file attachments or not.

Thursday, January 4, 2007

A Little Support Goes a Long Way

Hi people.  I know some of you are tired of seeing my face in the blogs tab.  I'm sorry if you feel that I am quite pompous for making blogs regularly because I could care less. 



For those who actually like what I write, please, show a little support by leaving comments, it is but the little inspiration I have left as I am severely mentally blocked.